Monday, March 25

Primary-school humour

As part of a recent survey, 200 Nottinghamshire-based primary schoolchildren aged 10 to 11 were asked to tell their favourite jokes. Here are the 20 most popular:

Why did the chicken cross the road?
- To get to the other side.
A boy needs the toilet so the teacher asks him to say the alphabet - a, b, c, d, etc. After a while he says: "Miss, why is the p half way down my leg?"
Why is the sky so high?
- So the birds don't bump their heads.
What did one traffic light say to the other traffic light?
- Don't look at me, I'm changing.
Why don't polar bears eat penguins?
- Because they can't get the wrappers off.
What is the difference between a fireman and a soldier?
- You can't dip a fireman in your egg.
What do you call a dog without legs?
- Anything you like. It won't run after you.
Why do the Teletubbies go to the toilet at the same time?
- Because they only have one Tinky Winky.
Doctor, doctor, I feel like a bridge.
- What came over you?
- Two cars and a bus.
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
- A woolly jumper.
Why do cows have bells?
- Because their horns don't work.
What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
- Lily.
A man walked into a hospital and said: "Doctor, doctor, I've grown curtains."
The doctor said: "Calm down man and pull yourself together."
Why can't a car play football?
- Because it has only got one boot.
What's white and swings through the jungle?
- A fridge.
Why wasn't Cinderella allowed to be in the soccer team?
- Because she runs away from the ball.
Why did the boy take the pen and paper to bed?
- So that he could draw the curtain.
What does the secretary do to old nails?
- File them.
Why don't aliens starve in space?
- Because they can find mars, a milky way and a galaxy.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
- I've no idea...

(Reported by BBC Online in 'Jokes help pupils learn', 23 March)